The Emperor’s Rules – World’s Best* F1 Blog

I am now the Emperor of Formula 1. I am Mr. Liberty (Mr. Media? Whatever). I am the one who knocks.

And with my newfound powers, I have some ideas for ways to improve our beloved sport. I have some ideas that might turn it upside down. Here is the World’s Best* version of Formula 1.

  • Australia. Season opener. Forever.
  • Every year on the Thursday at Bahrain, a lottery is held to determine which of the three layouts will be contested for the weekend.
  • Make Monaco abide by the 305km rule. More Monaco. Always more Monaco.
  • Each team shall have one joker livery to use each season. Whether it’s a different color scheme, new design style, or raw carbon fiber, every team must have one weekend a year where they redesign the livery.
  • Wave a white flag for the final lap. No more of a guy just sticking his finger out a window. Leave the fingers for cricket umpires.
  • We have three tire compounds each weekend. All three must be used.
  • I don’t much care for the season finale being in Abu Dhabi. I think we need to change the finale to Kymi. In December.
  • The start at Monaco is a bit cramped so let’s change it up. All the drivers will start standing in the swimming pool. When the lights go out they must get from the pool to their car as quickly as possible (dunking a fellow driver under momentarily to gain advantage shall be allowed). Once in the car it’s a classic Le Mans start to get out of the pits and onto the track to start the race.
  • The Miami track shall be amended so the cars go through the stadium.
  • Annual European events in perpetuity: Britain, Monaco, Italy, Belgium, Germany, Hungary.
  • European events put into a rotation: France, Netherlands, Spain, Portugal, Turkey, San Marino (the Emilia Romagna name has got to go), and Austria. Each track hosts at least three times a decade.
  • Fuck it, we’re running Macau.
  • One oval a year. Not a Bahrain Outer Circuit “hey guys it’s like an oval but actually more in the shape of a squished cheese Danish.” One real oval a year. I recommend starting at Bristol.
  • And lastly, refueling will return….but the drivers must fill the car themselves.

Thanks for reading. It may not actually be the world’s best F1 blog, but I think it’s pretty ok. As thanks for sticking with it to the bottom, enjoy a moment with Bella.

And before you go, here’s one for the road…