THP #46: Around The World

January 3, 2024 – New London, Connecticut
Coast Guard Academy v Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Men’s Basketball

My daughter just turned a year old. What a whirlwind it has been.

I never thought I’d be a dad. I was always the fat guy comic relief throughout school, or at least that’s how I perceived my role to be. I told myself I was fine with that. I can say with complete certainty after this past year that I was not.

Being a dad has been a delight. It’s been the easiest job I’ve ever had because I wholly and totally want to do it every day. Sure, the lack of sleep, especially last winter, was incredibly rough and I was vomited on at 3 am and I’ve had to say the sentence “where is the turd” with fear echoing in my voice.

It’s all been worth it and so much fun. There’s been a lot I’ve learned about myself and a lot I want to tell my friends who are new parents like me or are thinking about becoming parents in the near future.

CHANGE LITTLE

It was very frustrating for me time and again to hear older relatives tell me bullshit nonsense like “your life is never your own anymore” and “Everything will be different.”

Fuck outta here.

I lived more than 31 years before my daughter came into my life, and I built many memories and relationships and anchor points in my life that I hold dear. And those weren’t going anywhere.

The thinking always felt backwards to me. Why should I be expected to change everything of who I am and what I’ve been? It felt so negative.

Instead, I get to meet and build a relationship with this lovely little person and watch them grow and bring them into my life and my wife’s life. How wonderful is that?

Having a kid should be a positive, not drudgery that you regret.

MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS

I vocalized to many around me how important it was for me to maintain the friendships I’d spent years building. I wasn’t going to disappear into a parent-centric life because that would have driven me mad.

I’m still in the group chats. I’m still finding time to get to games. I can’t tell you how many people asked if this blog was gonna end. Nope, brought Claire to the first two stops this season. Onward and upward.

Am I out with friends as often? No, but I’m still involved and still a presence. It’s been a huge key in me feeling like I was maintaining my identity.

Claire loves all the aunties and unkies, and they love her.

I’M MY TOP PRIORITY

I do love saying that and letting the pause hang a bit too long to get a reaction from people.

It’s true. I’m my top priority. The reasoning is very simple:

If I’m not at my best then my marriage isn’t at its best and my parenting isn’t at its best. I want all three of those engines to be rumbling along smoothly.

It can definitely feel hard. This past year wasn’t my best mentally for myriad work and family and life reasons so it was a battle to fight through. I kept trying my best. Some days definitely weren’t as good as others. I keep trying, it’s all I can do. It’s all paid off by a kiss on the cheek or my little one’s twinkling smile.

I’m excited for year two. She’s already started standing up and figuring out how to get into places she shouldn’t be. Always a chase, always a joy.

And Bella has been lovely too. She’s handled having a baby in the house so well and with grace. I’m so proud of that canine. Enjoy a moment with her in the snow.

Important Cultural Activities

Very little Amerindian culture remains in New England. The European settlers assimilated or murdered away the centuries of culture and society built by tribes like the Nipmuck, Abenaki, and so many more.

While there are still a smattering of federally-recognized tribes throughout the region, nowhere is Native culture stronger in New England than in Connecticut.

Which brought me to the Mohegan Reservation and the Tantaquidgeon Museum.

This small stone structure is located across the street from the tribe’s cultural preservation center and a brief walk down the street from the  Mohegan Church up on Mohegan Hill just off Route 32.

The museum was founded by John Tantaquidgeon in 1931 and is the oldest Native owned and operated museum in the country. His reasoning for founding it was both simple and beautiful: John founded this museum on the premise that it is harder to hate someone that you know a lot about.

The museum is free to go to. I just rang the bell at the cultural center across the street and a member of the tribe, Jason Roode, came over to give me a tour of the museum.

And a big thank you to Jason is in order. He was lovely to talk with, was a fountain of information and kindess, and made the experience far more richer than if I had guided myself through the museum.

The museum, which grew under the care of John’s children Gladys and Harold (who was chief of the tribe for nearly 20 years), was full of info and artifacts from tribes across the Northeast.

 

There was even a life-sized statue of Gladys carved from one solid piece of wood. According to Jason, she was held in high regard among the tribes in the region and was entrusted with keeping and preserving artifacts of all types.

The showcase item was this piece of wampum dating back to the 16th/17th century and chief Uncas, namesake of the town of Uncasville, who presided over the tribe when it encountered British settlers and eventually split with the Pequots.

The collar is the oldest piece of wampum that has continually been in Native hands. The two white pyramids symbolize the split between the Mohegans and Pequots.

Outside there was also a dugout canoe and a memory pile.

Next to the memory pile were a pair of tree bark-covered wigmans. One had the remnants of an active fire going inside. I sat for a few and enjoyed a few quiet, warm minutes on a cold winter day.

Jason told me that the tribes of Connecticut, including the Mohegans, were working together to put together a curriculum that will be taught to students across the state beginning in the fall of 2024 thanks to recently passed legislation mandating native education be taught throughout the Nutmeg State.

I wish more states did the same to help preserve the knowledge and history of the tribal nations across the country. This was an excellent experience and can’t recommend it more highly to New Englanders.

The Good Eats

So I was on the coast of Long Island Sound, and I was looking for a good seafood haunt to eat at. But then in my research I found a Sri Lankan restaurant called Cinnamon Grill that was well-reviewed and unlike anything I’d had before.

I can get fish and chips or a lobster roll nearly anywhere, but Lankan food is hard to come by so I rolled the dice.

What I got was a meal that absolutely blew my socks off.

It is incredibly unassuming from the street but inside it was a feast for the eyes.

The restaurant felt like two pods connected by a middle walkway with a well-stocked bar on one side.

It was 1:30 pm and I hadn’t eaten a thing all day so I started with the Gobi Honey Garlic. This deep-fried cauliflower dish was one of the crunchiest, tangiest, sweetest things I’ve ever had.

When I come back — because I absolutely will be back — I might just get a double order of this. Never has an appetizer satisfied like this one did.

And I still had a main coming to the table. I went with the chicken fried rice. Unlike the fried rice from an American Chinese restaurant that many of us know, this was far different and far superior.

Gone was the fish sauce and soy sauce. In its place was a subtly spiced dish that was dry on the palate in a good way. The accompanying vegetable chutney was extremely sweet with an acidic bite. When combined with the rice it was absolute perfection.

And all this was under $20 before tip. It was a spectacular meal in every sense of the word. Go here. Make sure it stays open forever.

The Campus

The Coast Guard Academy sits right on the Thames River, a short shout from Long Island Sound. Founded in 1876 as the Revenue Cutter Service School of Instruction, cadets receive a debt-free education in return for a minimum of five years of service after graduating.

Adorned with many brick buildings, the campus felt very much like a classic New England liberal arts school even if it wasn’t.

The Game

The Bears play their games in the Roland Center at the far edge of campus. The Roland opened in 1965 and very much looks of its time.

Although it sure has one hell of a view from the courtyard by the entrance.

The building is named for former Admiral Edwin J. Roland and features a small exhibit about him and his athletic and military exploits. He was the first alum enshrined in the Coast Guard Academy athletic hall of fame.

Photos of his bio, which was framed on the wall, are below if you are interested.

Quick moment for the standard trophy case photo.

Overall, it was quite barren in the lobby aside from this mannequin display hyping up the Bears. You don’t miss something that orange.

Why did basketball get a head and volleyball didn’t?

The interior of the arena can best be described as akin to many a high school gym I’ve been to in my day. There was a video board on the far side but it only played a few adverts throughout the game.

But now a moment to complain about the absolutely absurd amount of space between the front row and the sideline. I mean, not everything needs to be Cameron Indoor, but this was ridiculous. I’d throw a few more tax dollars their way to get bigger bleachers. Just look at that gap.

Anyway, it was a Wednesday matinee in the NEWMAC conference between the preseason #1 in WPI and a solid Coast Guard team.

However, it was quickly apparent that WPI was on a mission to start 2024 with authority.

Eight minutes into the game it was 21-4 WPI. That three from Nathan Bledsoe made it 24-9. The Engineers were firmly in control.

And just for fun, they kept the pedal down.

The Bears cut the gap to nine points with just under five minutes to go in the first half and looked poised to make a comeback and get some juice back into the game going into halftime.

Enter Donovan Sevilla.

The Californian showed off his vicious first step in dropping in this layup to put Tech back up 16.

And then he had the final word of the first half.

WPI led by 13 at the break.

And the Engineers found a second gear in the final 20 minutes. John Adams finished with a quiet double-double of 11 points, 15 rebounds.

Sevilla kept the fun going in the second half on his way to 16 points.

While Sevilla had some of the flashiest moments, it was Andrew Lufkin who stole the show. The senior from New Hampshire, in just his fourth game back from injury, balled out for 21 minutes and led all scorers in the process.

That three was his last field goal of the afternoon and put WPI up 20. Game was fully, totally in hand.

WPI 73, Coast Guard 54. Final.
Time of Game: 1:24:51
Player of the Game: Andrew Lufkin (WPI) – 17 points

…

That was a fun afternoon in Southern Connecticut. The Nutmeg State has so much to offer from an excellent variety of food to a wealth of attractions and college basketball from juco to the heights of D1.

It’s always a joy to get on the road and get to places like the Tantaquidgeon and get bowled over by a meal as exceptional as the one above.

Sure, the game wasn’t that great but that comes with the territory. On to the one.

And now, here’s one for the road…